I can’t pinpoint the exact moment of my life when I realized that I was just a regular, unexceptional person. But at some point, in my twenties I think, it became clear to me that my life was not going to be about “making my mark” on the world.
Anyway, I am thankful that moment is behind me. What a relief to realize you’re not special, that none of your interests or tastes are unique, and that there’s always someone out there doing stuff better than you. I don’t mean that in a sad or nihilistic way. I just mean to say that the pursuit of exceptionalism is not what drives me or brings me happiness. I’m good to ride my wave of mediocrity into oblivion.
The embarrassing fight against one’s own mediocrity is nicely captured in the movie Metroland (1997). Chris Lloyd (Christian Bale) plays a 30-something year old guy on the brink of an early mid-life crisis. He’s having the classic “this is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife” moment.
Chris has a wife, Marion (Emily Watson), a toddler, a house, a mortgage, a car, and a soulless office job that is a reflection of all his crushed dreams.
You see, Chris used to have dreams. In his youth, he was an amateur photographer. He was anti-establishment, he even lived in Paris, during the 1968 riots (didn’t participate).
Chris never in a million years thought he would eventually get married and settle for a boring suburban life in Metroland.
Early in the film, Toni (Lee Ross), Chris’ rebellious best friend, returns from a long trip and commences to immediately mock Chris for being disgustingly bourgeois.
Because Chris is already fragile as hell (aforementioned midlife crisis), it’s really easy for Toni to mess with him, strengthening his urge to leave behind his comfy life for a freer more fun-filled existence.
As Chris weighs this decision, we take a little trip down memory lane with him, watching as he plays some seminal moments of his life over in his mind.
We follow him to Paris, where he at one time had a sexy French girlfriend, Annick (Elsa Zylberstein). We also meet a young Marion, played brilliantly by Emily Watson as a dry, smart, realist who challenges Chris’ sense of self. Case in point, this scene here:
Neither woman, Marion or Annick, is romanticized or villainized. And likewise, neither way of life (bohemian vs suburban) is presented as the “right” one.
This movie leaves me with the sentiment that regardless of what your path is in life, it’s going to be flawed and imperfect. There’s no destination or grand prize at the end, no matter how much you achieve or how many of your dreams are dashed/come true. Ultimately, it’s not that deep. You’re just a person, okay? It’s fine. Just keep living.
I don’t think Metroland is available to stream on any platforms, but you can rent it on iTunes or borrow the DVD from the library if you’re an OG. It’s a good, easy watch - nice Parisian cafés, pretty girls in 60s outfits, guys with comically large British sideburns, and a screaming baby that’s essentially just a nameless prop. Enjoy!